Thursday, March 31, 2005

Let’s get ready to rumble!

A fight broke out today after school.  Felicia and Kacie (I believe, my view wasn’t the greatest) duked it out like real men: slapping, scratching, and hair-pulling.  The fight cooled down by itself before any teachers or administrators showed up.  Personally, I don’t think that the school should intervene in isolated, mutual fights.  Some guys (and apparently, some girls also) just need to settle it with their fists (or press-on nails).

Back to sports, we won the last two games, one today and one on Tuesday.  We whooped Forrest and Emily R. today.  (Behold and beware the uber-1337 B4dmint0n N1njah)  Today I left my gym clothes at home, thinking that we had to take a survey thingy today.  The survey is scheduled for Monday.  Mr. J. was cool enough to let me go without penalty (the quarter ends tomorrow [Friday]).

Apparently, you-know-who has a boyfriend.  I don’t feel too stupid; she did kinda lead me on.  I guess we can be... *shudder* ...friends.  Seriously, I think that that would be alright.  We’re scheduled to go to the Frewsburger tomorrow (Friday) after school, but that may be cancelled.  Who knows?

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Friday, March 25, 2005

My dog is stoned.

Barneé (my dog) just got back from the vet a few hours ago.  She had some doggie Valium and is staggering around the house.  Barneé was in the hospital in the first place because she ate her red ball.  She then threw up about a third of it and had been vomiting all over the house.  Fortunately, the X-ray revealed that there was no red ball remaining in her stomach, and now she will not need to undergo the dangerous red ball-ectomy.  To keep her from continuing her evil plot to destroy our carpet, the vet prescribed some anti-vomit medication.  Just in case it doesn’t work, I’m gonna keep my bedroom door securely closed.

For those of you who must know, the date has been postponed to sometime next week... after school... with her friend.  Fucking awesome.

In sports news, we won the last two badminton games, one by default (kinda) and one 14-4.  In the game against Jake M. and Danni (sp?) K. we neither kept score nor actually played.  Danni was in her own little world, and she tried to drag us into the abyss with her.  Against Tom C. and Cathy L. (from the Joe T. and Cathy L. game), we killed.  We “lost count” a few times and basically lowered our own score because we felt bad for Cathy.  Normally the guy on the co-ed team tries to hog the shuttlecock (Yes, I do like using that word.), but Tommy was way off in Stoner-land.  He even wandered off to the locker room at some point.  When he returned, we restarted from the point at which he left.  Neither of them seemed to happy to be there.  For the first time I didn’t really break a sweat.  I break sweats like the Governator breaks girlie-men’s faces, so that’s really an accomplishment.

On that note, I leave you.  Later.

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Monday, March 21, 2005

Girls are tough to talk to...

Sorry Mark, but this is a sissy, desperate teenager post.  Suck it up and deal.

I think I have a mental deficiency.  I can talk to a girl with no problem... until she becomes a romantic interest.  Now I may have a date this weekend; what am I gonna do?  Jamis, you know about whom I am talking (or typing, rather).  She’s going to the prom with someone else, which is understandable; it’s her senior prom, and she wants to hang out with seniors.  I suppose it's time to look for another prom date...

Well, I guess I’ll finish this up later.  See ya.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

“My mechanic told me, ‘I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.’ ”

I went to the play last night, Joseph and the Technicolor DreamcoatJamis certainly looked unenthused.  It had some comedic parts, but the whole thing kind of sucked.  Spos’ (my 9th grade math [A3-B1] teacher) part was great.  He was the pharaoh/Elvis.  I’ve never wanted to see his midrift; now I have one more thing to tell my therapist when I inevitably acquire one.  All in all, it was a bust.  I never got a chance to talk to the girl, but I probably wouldn’t have had the balls anyway.

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Friday, March 18, 2005

“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.”

15-6 Wednesday in gym.  We won, for the first time.  Go us!  It was against Joe T. and Cathy, too.  Joe was tough, but I was tougher.  His selection of a white shuttlecock worried me at first, as the ceiling of the gym is white, making the shuttlecock difficult to see, but we demolished them in spite of it... or maybe because of it...  Who knows?

A 15-12 win today over Matt D. and Anna S.  Apparently Matt’s team was undefeated... was!  It was a pretty close one, but Sami’s 6-point serving run proved quite beneficial.  We’re actually a pretty good team.  Sami’s a lot better than I originally thought.

Bens (my current [11th grade] English teacher) was kind enough to tell us about our upcoming unit exam.  It’s on Monday.  For those of you who did not read the timestamp on this, today is Friday.  At least Such (my 8th and 9th grade English teacher; pronounced “sooch”) never gave us a pop unit exam!  Now I need to do all of my outlines over the weekend.

I may go to the musical tonight or tomorrow night.  Yes, I am going because of a girl, but it’s better than in 9th grade, when I joined the musical because of a girl (who currently does not attend Frewsburg, never went out with me, never particularly liked me, and, oh yeah, didn’t make the cast!!!)  I have a bad history with musicals...  Also, make-up sucks.  Another victory for man: no make-up.  Man: 1, Woman: 0.

I guess I haven’t mentioned that I joined the Quiz Bowl team.  I apologize.  Well, the season is over.  We needed to win that one match that I attended.  I was no help, and we lost 94-40, or something like that.  Mrs. E. was unhappy about the lack of seriousness exhibited by the other teams.  I thought that it was hilarious.  I think that Mark and Sami F. (not Sami H. from gym class) agree with me, but they certainly won’t admit it.  Mrs. E. is pretty scary sometimes.

I’ll try to update one more time over the weekend, but I can’t guarantee anything.  I may see Kaylee and Brandon over the weekend (also a maybe).  I offered to take them and Foatz to the Frewsburger (a pizza place; ironically, they do not serve hamburgers), as I have $25 in gift certificates.  I doubt that they can turn down free pizza.

Monday, March 14, 2005

“I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.”

Happy Pi Day and Happy Birthday Albert Einstein!

With that said, my racism project is going along fairly well.  I had to visit two K.K.K. sites and describe their messages, goals, etc.  I never knew this, but apparently God hates black people.  I’ll keep that in mind when I watch black televangelists.

I understand visiting those web sites, and I understand doing a small project on them, but I think maybe our teacher may be reading too much into it.

We lost again in badminton.  This time 15-6.  I guess I can’t pull the old “We were about to make a comeback” routine this time.  Oh, well.  We’ll get ’em next time!

I joined quiz bowl last week and there is a match this Wednesday.  I guess it’s time to put the old noggin to work...

Also, my road test for my Driver’s License is in 29 days.  That’ll be fun.  Now all I need is a car... and a place to drive... and money for gas... and insurance... UG!

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Friday, March 11, 2005

“42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.”

That last post that referred to Dodge-Cock* and, ironically, that’s exactly what we played in gym on Tuesday.  Of course I missed it due to an orthodontist appointment.  Now we’re doing a badminton tournament (no time for Dodge-Cock).  Thanks to Mr. J.’s co-ed teams, my partner is Sami H.  She’s not a bad partner, but she doesn’t put forth much effort, which is understandable; it is only gym class.  We lost our first game 13-12, but that was only because we ran out of time.  It was nearly our possession, and we were about to take victory.  (What ever happened to winning by two points, anyway?)  The Jamis mentioned that she can’t serve underhand.  I’m pretty bad with underhand, but I can still play; overhand serving is much easier, though.

I think I did well on my History 154 Industrial Revolution test.  It wasn’t as difficult as it was long.  I took about 35 extra minutes (on a 40-minute test), and I think that I got between 87% and 93%.  I can’t comprehend how Debbie and Amber can write so much in such a short amount of time...

Speaking of History 154, I’m going to start my racism project now.  (No really!)  Later.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

“The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”

My parents are sleeping right now.  Those damn “party animals” were up all night last night.  They got home at around 3:00.  Even I was asleep!  Matt D.J.s for some extra cash, and he was at the Trilliam (sp?) Lodge.  Apparently, the Trilliam is a meeting place for local couples who meet on the Internet.  (This means that there are a lot of gay couples.)  Also, local redneck snowmobilers have a few cold ones at this bar.  Everyone knows that gays + rednecks = hours of entertainment!  So my step-dad spent the night playing Dodge-Cock* while my mom received fashion tips.  Sounds like fun...

I guess I’ve got a five-day week before me; let’s hope that I can handle it.  I got a few English outlines done, and I finished my Pre-Calc homework.  I’ll probably do some more outlines and then wait for...  I just checked, and Boston Legal isn’t on tonight.  Damnation!

Note: Dodge-Cock is game that Cory V. and I came up with in gym class.  (He created the game; I coined the name.)  It’s like Dodgeball, except with badminton shuttlecocks.  Those things can hurt.

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Friday, March 04, 2005

“How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?”

So, another day, another post.  I stayed home from school today.  I am sick, but I probably could’ve gone anyway.  I’ve resolved to get my Sociology project done over this weekend.  Never do a project with a friend, they make life hell.  Now, I just need Mark to send me the work that he’s done.  (If you’re reading this Mark, the FTP site works for uploading, too.  Just drag and drop [in Internet Explorer, anyway; I’m not sure about Firefox].  Also, you can email it to me.)

So far, no one has entered The Great Gmail Contest Contest.  This saddens me...  I shall advertise it elsewhere; perhaps as a first post (FP!!!11!!one!!) on Slashdot.

I guess I’d better get started on my English outlines.  Toodles.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Sorry Democrats, I had to post this one

Hillary’s First Night As President

In January 2009, Hillary Clinton gets elected President, and is spending her first night in the White House.

The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears.  Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people."
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears.  Hillary asks, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln replies, “Go to the theater.”

The Great Gmail Contest Contest

Well, I now have Gmail invites to share.  I wanted to come up with a contest to distribute them, but I’m not that creative.  My solution? You come up with the contest!  Be creative, whoever comes up with the best contest will be awarded 10 Gmail invites and I will use that contest to give away more invites.  (Second place receives 5 invites, and third place receives 3.  If I get a ton of submissions, I may increase the prizes.)  To enter, submit your idea as a comment to this post.  The contest will expire at 11:59 P.M. (Eastern Standard Time) on Thursday, March 17th 2005.  Please spread this information wherever you can.

Edit (16:49 EST March 4, 2005): Don’t forget to include your current email address in the submission.

Edit (16:49 EST March 4, 2005): To entice you further, I will double the prizes (20 for first, 10 for second, 6 for third).

Edit (20:19 EST March 4, 2005): Now, all submissions will be rewarded with one (1) Gmail invite, no matter how ridiculous.  The only restrictions are that it must not be a repeat of a previous idea, and it also must not be racist, hateful, sexist, etc.  (I, Josh Clark, reserve the right to withhold prizes from anyone for any reason.)